You may find that some days all you can think about is the loss and some days you are able to do some tasks or think a little about your next steps in life. You may switch between these on an hourly basis: this is natural. Sometimes it can feel as if grief takes over.
But people bereaved by suicide report that one day, perhaps against expectations, you may find that there is space for something else – a plan, a hope. And one day, maybe there is a little more space. It isn’t so much that your grief is growing smaller; it’s that you are growing around the grief.
There will be days when on waking up you will forget what has happened – and feel guilty for having done so. Then there will be days when, for a while, you can laugh with a friend, enjoy a programme on TV or admire a view.
And one day, you will find that you remember and think more about the life of the person who died than about how they died. You won’t forget that, but it will seem less vivid than who they were and what you shared with them while they were alive.